I’ve been traveling outside of Chicago quite a bit lately. That is precisely why I felt the need to tap back into the city a little when I returned from my hiatus in December.

I’m that guy that orders friends a shot of Malort if they’ve never had it before– heck, I even travel with a bottle sometimes so my non-Chicago friends can take down the bitter, wet sock taste that exudes from it.

At some point in my life, something snapped and caused me to enjoy Malort. Sometimes I still gag a little bit at the aftertaste, sometimes it goes down like candy.

Right before my last trip to the mountains ended, I snagged a handheld water purifier. I was stoked to try it out and had no patience to wait until my next trip westward, which is why I sought out some of the dirtiest liquids around to drink in Chicago…

It was originally going to involve Chicago River water mixed with Malort, but..

A) The river is too far down to reach where it isn’t gated.
B) I didn’t want Giardia or worse.

***The Chicago Traveler does not recommend anyone else trying this cocktail and will not be held responsible for anyone being as immature as Ross is..




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